Women jokes

FOR MEN ONLY, LADIES PLEASE IGNORE
Short Facts……
☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀
Wife : “why are u home so early?”
Hubby :  “My boss said go to hell!” 

😆😋

         

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Doctor : How is ur headache ? 

Patient : she’s out of town.

😄
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Marriage is like a public toilet… 
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & 

Those inside are desperate to come out.

😰
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No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:

       (1) Mobile

       (2) Automobile

       (3) TV

       (4) Wife

Because, there is always a 

better model in neighborhood 

😉
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Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

😷
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Whisky is a brilliant invention. 
One double and you start feeling single again.        

😇
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It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.
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Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, 

but my wife is the queen of them.
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Q – You know why women love shoes? 👠
Ans – Because no matter how much & whatever they eat , the shoes always fit.. 😜
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Q – Why can’t Women Drive well? 🚗

Ans – Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them.. 

😁

           

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Q – Why can’t Women stand a day in a Jungle? ⛺🎄
Ans – There are no Shopping Centers.. 

😉

           

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Q – How to save a Dying Woman? 
Ans – Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere.. 

😋

           

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The woman who invented the phrase …

“All men are the same” 

was a Chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd.

😝

           

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There are 3 kinds of men in this

world.

Some remain single and make

wonders happen. 

Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.

Rest get married and wonder what happened….

😜😜

           

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Wives are magicians……..
They can change anything into an argument.

😆😜

           

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Women live a Better, Longer &

Peaceful Life, as compared to men.

WHY? 

A very INTELLIGENT man replied: 

Women don’t have a wife!

😜😜😆😜
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Send this to all men for a good laugh and to women who can handle it… 🙂

😊

Global opinion on marriage

🌐Some global opinions on marriages..

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
– Al Gore 😛😛

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
– Socrates 😝😝

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
– Mike Tyson 😝😝

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs 📄with me.
– Bill Clinton  😉😉

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
– George W. Bush 👻

“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
– Rudy Giuliani 💣

“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
– Michael Jordan 😜😜

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it.
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
– Shaquille O’Neal 😘😘

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once..
– Kobe Bryant😡😡

You know what I did before I married?? Anything I wanted to.
– David Hasselhoff😞😞

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Alec Baldwin 😥😥

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
– Barack Obama😳😳

When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.
😜😁😂
👌😃😂👍

Philosophy of marriage :
At the beginning,
every wife treats her husband as GOD..
Later,
somehow don’t know why..
alphabets get reversed..
  
🍁An Excellent Line…

“Marriage is a beautiful forest where Brave Lions are killed by beautiful Deer”.😜😂🍁